So you want to hear some good news? Here’s some good news. I’ve started spending time with my kids again. I’ve learned a thing or two since I was last doing this. Here’s a SECRET about how to win your children’s respect that not even one out of a million fathers will figure out for themselves. Ready? Quit trying so hard. For the love of God, if you would just stop trying to impress your kids, and do what’s in this little pocketbook instead, children will “naturally” be impressed by you anyway. I put “naturally” in quotation marks cause everyone’s a different story, each to his own.Butattheend of the day, it comes down to this. You listening? Trying to impress a kid won’t impress it. Impressing kids is the wrong path to take. OK? OK. Let me explain what the problem is with trying to impress kids. To begin with: Every goddamn thing. I mean really. What were you thinking. When you deliberately try to impress a child, you send the following messages on a subliminal plane:

1) I got zero experience with children.
2) I can sense you may not appreciate me for who I am, so I better impress you instead.
3) I have no clue how to make children feel relaxed around me.
4) I’m not comfortable around you so I can never act the way I “naturally” am. Forget this. I mean. How can you live your life this way? Are you sick? What’s wrong with you? Are you French? Listen my friend. Children can immediately sense when you’re trying too hard. It’s like being on a date.
1) Conversation doesn’t seem “natural”.
2) Your body lan- guage is weird.
3) You can’t seem to click in a good way.
4) No one’s on the same page.

And everyone pays the price. Just like a bad date. Oh yes. So get ready for some pure and simple truth. Most fathers do this with their kids almost all the time. It’s old, it’s stupid, it’s unimpressive. Point I’ve been trying to make is that trying to impress a child normally has the complete opposite result. It not only makes you look like a basket case wacko, a daddy who can’t have “natural” interactions... it also pisses kids off. In a big way. So here’s what you do instead my friend. You don’t focus on them. You focus on you. Focus on yourself. That’s right.